rageprufrock: beach (Default)
[personal profile] rageprufrock: i just realized
[personal profile] rageprufrock: what i realy want
[personal profile] rageprufrock: is a house in the forest
[personal profile] rageprufrock: backing up to a lake
[personal profile] rageprufrock: with a dock
[personal profile] mklutz: oh yeah
[personal profile] mklutz: so you need to marry me, really
[personal profile] rageprufrock: yeah
[personal profile] rageprufrock: but i like sex too much
[personal profile] mklutz: yeah
[personal profile] mklutz: reasonable
[personal profile] rageprufrock: plus you wouldn't want kids
[personal profile] rageprufrock: which would be a downer
[personal profile] rageprufrock: and i would probably cry a lot
[personal profile] mklutz: kids are a lot of work, man
[personal profile] mklutz: I'd have to start abusing you
[personal profile] mklutz: if we got kids
[personal profile] rageprufrock: ahahahhahaha
[personal profile] rageprufrock: HOW IS THAT
[personal profile] mklutz: because it would be you or the kids
[personal profile] rageprufrock: THE NATURAL PROGRESSION
[personal profile] mklutz: someone's gonna get smacked for all that nuisance
[personal profile] mklutz: and child abuse is just wrong
[personal profile] rageprufrock: but hitting me is okay?
[personal profile] mklutz: well yeah
[personal profile] mklutz: you're the one who wanted kids
[personal profile] mklutz: plus you like it rough
[personal profile] mklutz: so it's not that big a leap
[personal profile] rageprufrock: oh my god.
[personal profile] mklutz: worst. spouse. ever.
[personal profile] rageprufrock: yes.
[personal profile] rageprufrock: YES YOU WOULD BE
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
[11:11] [personal profile] twentysomething: ALSSO ASDLFHADS;LFKHA
[11:11] [personal profile] twentysomething: DAD
[11:11] [personal profile] rageprufrock: ??
[11:11] [personal profile] twentysomething: hahaha found a copy
[11:11] [personal profile] twentysomething: of the lionel ritchie
[11:11] [personal profile] rageprufrock: ...
[11:11] [personal profile] rageprufrock: oh god
[11:11] [personal profile] twentysomething: hello? is it me you're looking for flier
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: that someone put up in the office
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: like dad was so confused by it
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: that he made a copy of it
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: ....
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: to bring it home
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: your father is
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: just
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: so i could explain it
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: magical
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: dad was like
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: WHAT IS THIS -SCUTTLE-
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: and i was like
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: wow
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: your dad is *steve*
[11:12] [personal profile] rageprufrock: your dad is *steve from H50*
[11:12] [personal profile] twentysomething: IT'S -A DINGLEHOPPER- LIONEL RITCHIE DUH
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: ....
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: that's
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: ....
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: it's TRUE
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: mom is tiny
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: and blonde
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: oh god
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: and gets angry
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: AND SHE'S HILARIOUSLY MEAN
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: BUT LOVES KIDS
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: oh NOOOOOOOOO
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: AND IT'S SUCH AN INCONGRUOUS PAIRING
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: AHHAHA OH MY GOD
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: SO MUCH MAKES SENSE NOW
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: OH MY GOD
[11:13] [personal profile] twentysomething: I'M GRACIE
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
[11:13] [personal profile] rageprufrock: LOOOOOOOOOLS
[11:14] [personal profile] twentysomething: FMLLLLLLLLLL
[11:14] [personal profile] rageprufrock: ahahhahahahhahahahahhahahaa
[11:14] [personal profile] rageprufrock: best. realization. ever.
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
Title: Murderous, Co-Dependent
Rating: G
Summary: (For MK on her birthday. I hope you're very happy with yourself.) It's an uncomfortable and telling measure of the depth of Lestrade's parental guilt that he acquires not one, but two kittens.

[7:53] [personal profile] rageprufrock: (kill me. I just had to tick OTHER on AO3 b/c I was like, are gay cats slash? kill me.)
[7:54] [personal profile] merelyn: ahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
[7:55] [personal profile] merelyn: omg i love that this is one of the first completed things you've posted in a while.
[7:55] [personal profile] merelyn: gay sherlock cat fic.
[7:55] [personal profile] merelyn: i love you lots, pru.
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
So after about 2.5 years of living in the urine-scented hellscape of New York, I finally lost my Fuck, I Have To Go To The Emergency Room At 3 A.M., Better Call A Car Service-Ginity! This is after I was an asshole and forced poor [personal profile] merelyn to come bring me a thermometer and make sure my brain wasn't cooking inside my skull at 11:30 at night, and then I put it off some more until I realized that I could feel my fever spiking (again!) at which point, my lizard brain said: "Get up off of your 101-possibly-102 degree fevered ass and go to the ER. At least if you have a seizure there, people will know what to do."

I'm not dying anymore, but when I called in to work this morning, I got what sounded like genuine sympathy from my boss, which -- believe you me -- is super, super weird. So I guess I still sound like I'm dying. Also, I present to you, "Misery, In Repose":

fuck you, too, january - Photo Sharing!

For those of you with eagle eyes: Yes, that is a book called Pregnesia on my nightstand; no, my kung fu is not strong enough to have read it yet; no, I did not spend U.S. legal tender on that ([personal profile] merelyn did, for Christmas); and lastly, no, you cannot see the Icy-Hot condoms in this photograph.
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
All right. Rewind the day, okay? To before you realized the TERRIBLE TRAGEDY of my filling coming out and therefore ruining ALL OF OUR LIVES as a collective because of my psychic whining -- earlier today, I did a bad, bad, terrible, stupid thing, and linked [personal profile] merelyn and [personal profile] twentysomething to this awful atrocity for the iPhone.

That was about 3 p.m.

And then about half an hour later, it began:

[personal profile] rageprufrock: ahhahaa
[personal profile] rageprufrock: i should not be linking you guys to this
[personal profile] rageprufrock: but:
[personal profile] rageprufrock: http://gizmodo.com/5426827/younicorn-iphone-app-requires-no-explanation
[personal profile] merelyn: YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA PRU.
[personal profile] merelyn: brb downloading.
[personal profile] twentysomething: OMG DLING
[personal profile] twentysomething: OH MY GOD
[personal profile] twentysomething: BEST .99 PURCHASE EVER

My friends, let me warn you: it was NOT the best .99 purchase ever. )

In conclusion: I'M SORRY.


Dec. 15th, 2009 05:48 pm
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
Me: "Mom. I think my filling fell out."
Me: "...YOU SUCK."

In conclusion, I think I have to go to the dentist for the third time in less than a week.

rageprufrock: beach (Default)
So it started when [personal profile] leupagus asked me to make her happy by writing something terrible and then extended out when she sucked it up and wrote something terrible in response and then the cycle of pain continued despite all indications that we should stop writing stupid RPS about Zachary Quinto making Chris Pine build him gazebos. (Which require the presence of an exterior fireplace and a water feature with a waterfall because otherwise, what is the fucking point, right?)

Instead, we made [personal profile] twentysomething write this part, and now is it my horrible obligation to post it.

And here we go again. )

Go forth, tell [personal profile] twentysomething she is terrible-amazing.
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
[personal profile] leupagus: Did you watch Quinto's video yet?
[personal profile] leupagus: I am afraid to
[personal profile] rageprufrock: I haven't.
[personal profile] rageprufrock: I'm also afriad
[personal profile] rageprufrock: but for different reasons than you.
[personal profile] rageprufrock: Like, it's wrong to touch yourself to a Funny or Die video, you know?
[personal profile] leupagus: You're afraid you will jump through the screen
[personal profile] rageprufrock: I don't want to be that person.
[personal profile] leupagus: HAHAHAHA
[personal profile] leupagus: Oh, honey.
[personal profile] leupagus: You already ARE that person
[personal profile] leupagus: Just thinking about it = being that person
[personal profile] rageprufrock: But I am trying not to be!
[personal profile] rageprufrock: I can reform!
[personal profile] leupagus: No you can't
[personal profile] leupagus: It's cute that you think you can, but no.
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
[personal profile] mklutz: I think I lost track of everything there
[personal profile] rageprufrock: ...
[personal profile] rageprufrock: of his...tumescence.
[personal profile] mklutz: I just need to talk about Arthur's suddenly awesome erection and whatnot
[personal profile] rageprufrock: oh, okay
[personal profile] rageprufrock: so while you're talking about merlin's ASS WOMB
[personal profile] rageprufrock: you are RIGHT ON THE BALL
[personal profile] rageprufrock: but talking about Arthur's big juicy dick
[personal profile] rageprufrock: that is beyond you
[personal profile] mklutz: Well yeah
[personal profile] rageprufrock: *facepalm*
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
Internet, I have been mulling a haircut for a while, it's about three, four inches past my shoulderblades and TORMENTS ME. I had shoulder-length hair for many solar revolutions, and now I want it even shorter. So tonight, I realized, "Oh my God, I want Matthew Gray Gubler hair!"

So my question is, internet: would that be AMAZING or TERRIBLE? I have a very round, somewhat square face (folks who know me in person, back me up or disagree with me on this?) and I am helplessly attracted to fug things. (See: Zachary Quinto's hat.)

For visual reference:


Jul. 3rd, 2009 09:47 pm
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
I keep thinking that maybe this is just because I followed a banner ad and filled out my questionnaire just now so they haven't had time to find me a compatible match yet. And yet, I cannot help but to think that my reinterpretation of this web site is factually accurate:


Also? Cherrybina and I have Cool Plans for this Sunday's Merlin, so keep an eye out. It's going to feature some hella awful CGI and a whole truckload of straight!fail. You know you want this business.
rageprufrock: (east coast tourist)
So very stereotypically, I am a single female who lives under the psychological tyranny of my mother's disapproval. So far today, I have obsessively cleaned my apartment, rearranged my closet and chest of drawers, rearranged my shoe rack, scrubbed my bathroom, done three sets of dishes, debated throwing out the food in my fridge so she can't look at it and make that face at me and say, "Oh, Pru, you'd be so beautiful if you lost...well, now it's 20 pounds," and hid my two boxes of smut behind my upright mirror.

And just like, five minutes ago, I -- guys, I seriously shit you not -- took all the condoms in my nightstand out of the Trojan box and stuffed them in the sealed packet of Icy-Hot back pain patches because it was opaque and big enough to fit them. In conclusion, one day, when I trick a man into sleeping with me again, there's going to be a super awkward incident when he gets a cold-burn on his fucking dick because my prophylactics. Jesus Christ, why am I this way?

So now, this is what is happening inside my apartment )
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Title: Discourses in Management (Lab), pt 1/? )
Rating: For now, PG-13, for language
Summary: “How’s it going?” the instructor asks, her voice a harmony, hovering nearby. / "Futilely,” Spock volunteers at the same time Jim says, “Shitty.”
rageprufrock: beach (Default)
So yesterday, after catching breakfast with D. and [personal profile] leupagus, she stuffed me into a rented Dodge Ram and we listened to a lot of dubious music as she drove with oftentimes questionable judgement through Manhattan as we moved her stuff (a) into storage (b) sort of into her new apartment (c) watched her get hit on by some homeless man who introduced himself as Francoise (no, seriously), when he watched us trying to parallel park on the East Side and decided to spontaneously spot us (no, seriously), and then lavish [personal profile] leupagus's dainty hand with a kiss (no, seriously) while I held my breath so I DID NOT BURST INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.

Which was horrible for her or whatever but a nice break from the ordinary wretch that has been my life since mid-April. (No, guys, I'm not joking, I don't have furniture anymore, I just have holders on which I have flung shit. Also, I lost a pair of jeans. I DON'T KNOW EITHER, OKAY?)

So I have basically been doing nothing but trying to keep my head above water at work and noodling around on my writing, which uh, has produced some dubious things happening?

Supernatural curtainfic, wherein I indulge my need for improbable domesticity and think it's funny to make Castiel shovel snow, and also, contains a spoiler I heard about the last seal on the series, so you should probably skip it if you're like, ravenously allergic. (But I totally make a prostitution joke. Ha ha!) )

I found this on my desktop a few mornings ago, and I don't even know what it means, only that tormenting Jack with Ianto and normalcy is kind of hilarious. )
rageprufrock: (west coast tourist)
In order to welcome a new teammate at the office, we went out to a local bar wherein I got what is colloquially called "trashed off my face," committed three party fouls (oh God) and also, told at least two of my coworkers that I really, really love them. The comforting thing of course is that I meant it, but ew, E. and A. should never know of my genuine affection for them. Also, then I came home, ate a Hardees chicken sandwich, watched Kathy Griffith: She'll Cut A Bitch, drank about a fucking gallon of water and then passed out.

So then I woke up this morning to find it gorgeous outside and decided -- after I panicked and was like OH SHIT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK? and then deciding OKAY PROBABLY NOT? and then realizing that all of my friends were either in D.C. (DAVID) or in the Midwest (LEUPAGUS) or lived elsewhere (HOYDEN) -- to take a walk. It was sunny and the wind was sweet and all the skanks were out! And so where their spray-tanned titties! A perfect Saturday afternoon, all in all.

And now I am going to watch some pedobait (read: Kuroshitsuji) (read: IT IS NOT MY FAULT) (read: JUST TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE OFFICIAL ART, OKAY?) (read: also, try not to think about the fact that Count Phantomhive (I don't know either) is only 12 years old, oh God) and mull over a few things.

Like: how do I make anything I write mainstream? Also, is it appropriate to start what would probably be a chicklit book with projectile vomiting?

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